Mindfulness is such a thing, everyone has heard it, but how exactly does it even work? The technique of mindfulness is used in many areas. Especially in areas of self-discovery or mental illness such as depression or anxiety disorders, a mindful approach to ourselves and our situation can open up whole new avenues. Even brain activity in certain areas is increased.
But even during sex, one can benefit from mindfulness and a mindful approach to each other. Women in particular can feel more pleasure through mindfulness, as studies show. Sex doesn't always have to happen the same way, and orgasm isn't always the goal.
That's exactly the credo of mindful sex, in which you take time for sex and intimacy. Whether you have sexual blocks or problems, or you're just curious about new experiences, these four exercises will bring more mindfulness into your sex life.
1. Value-free touching
Touching yourself can be a very intimate and exciting thing. If you do this with mindfulness, you will experience the moment of touch and your own pleasure even more intensely. The important thing here is to do this in a completely non-judgmental way. Just observe how it makes you feel, without judging yourself, your pleasure or your thoughts. Just try to get involved with your feelings, emotions and thoughts, so that you meet yourself completely in the here and now. This creates a deeper contact with yourself.
2. Look deeply into the eyes
Eye contact during sex can make the connection between you and your partner much more intense. It strengthens the bond between you and shows you the feelings in your partner's eyes. This can be very arousing and intimate or just beautiful. You feel seen and respected and there can be a very different kind of intimacy between you than when you turn off the lights during sex.
3. Slow Sex
A technique from slow sex, called sex without arousal, creates additional intimacy and may be something completely new for you. Sex without both of you being aroused may sound boring but happens from a deep relaxation that can lead to a whole new feeling of pleasure, which for some is very intense.
4. Give each other feedback
Part of being mindful with each other is listening to the other person, asking how they feel, and confiding in each other about what you like and don't like. Feedback after sex can strengthen a mindful relationship. Talk about what you like and learn more about each other and yourselves. This will bring you closer on an even deeper level, giving you the attention, you need and being mindful.
Citation
- Richter (23.10.20): Aufregender Sex – und wie eine Rosine dazu beiträgt. In: Stern. (Zuletzt abgerufen 29.07.22). https://www.stern.de/neon/herz/liebe-sex/sexbewusst/achtsamkeitsforscherin-erklaert--welche-uebung-jedes-paar-probieren-sollte-8141498.html.
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