Mindfulness is such a thing, everyone has heard it, but how exactly does it even work? The technique of mindfulness is used in many areas. Especially in areas of self-discovery or mental illness such as depression or anxiety disorders, a mindful approach to ourselves and our situation can open up whole new avenues. Even brain activity in certain areas is increased. 

But even during sex, one can benefit from mindfulness and a mindful approach to each other. Women in particular can feel more pleasure through mindfulness, as studies show. Sex doesn't always have to happen the same way, and orgasm isn't always the goal.

That's exactly the credo of mindful sex, in which you take time for sex and intimacy. Whether you have sexual blocks or problems, or you're just curious about new experiences, these four exercises will bring more mindfulness into your sex life.

1\. Value-free touching

Touching yourself can be a very intimate and exciting thing. If you do this with mindfulness, you will experience the moment of touch and your own pleasure even more intensely. The important thing here is to do this in a completely non-judgmental way. Just observe how it makes you feel, without judging yourself, your pleasure or your thoughts. Just try to get involved with your feelings, emotions and thoughts, so that you meet yourself completely in the here and now. This creates a deeper contact with yourself.

2\. Look deeply into the eyes

Eye contact during sex can make the connection between you and your partner much more intense. It strengthens the bond between you and shows you the feelings in your partner's eyes. This can be very arousing and intimate or just beautiful. You feel seen and respected and there can be a very different kind of intimacy between you than when you turn off the lights during sex.

3\. Slow Sex

A technique from slow sex, called sex without arousal, creates additional intimacy and may be something completely new for you. Sex without both of you being aroused may sound boring but happens from a deep relaxation that can lead to a whole new feeling of pleasure, which for some is very intense.

4\. Give each other feedback

Part of being mindful with each other is listening to the other person, asking how they feel, and confiding in each other about what you like and don't like. Feedback after sex can strengthen a mindful relationship. Talk about what you like and learn more about each other and yourselves. This will bring you closer on an even deeper level, giving you the attention, you need and being mindful.

**Citation**
- Richter (23.10.20): Aufregender Sex – und wie eine Rosine dazu beiträgt. In: Stern. (Zuletzt abgerufen 29.07.22). [https://www.stern.de/neon/herz/liebe-sex/sexbewusst/achtsamkeitsforscherin-erklaert--welche-uebung-jedes-paar-probieren-sollte-8141498.html](https://www.stern.de/neon/herz/liebe-sex/sexbewusst/achtsamkeitsforscherin-erklaert--welche-uebung-jedes-paar-probieren-sollte-8141498.html). 

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Achtsamkeit und Sex- Wie diese Übungen dem Sexleben mehr Achtsamkeit verleihen

Mindfulness and Sex- How these exercises add mindfulness to your sex life

Sex between two people is not always perfect. Sometimes one of the partners does not feel like it, sometimes the tension is missing, sometimes you are too tired or too busy with other thoughts to let yourself fall completely. That's okay, as long as it's an exception and the entire sex life doesn't suffer. If it turns out to be a permanent unwillingness, a negative feeling towards sex or even a refusal to have a healthy sex life, you may work on it.

The good news is: You can work on it! Whether you are a man or a woman, your sex life can be improved by actively doing something about it. With these exercises and tips, sex can be improved.

## 1\. Sports for more balance and desire

A mixture of endurance and strength training is not only good for the body. Sport also creates an inner balance and promotes physical and mental drive. Thus, the desire for sex also benefits from increasing endurance and stamina. An increased sense of self-worth and body image provides a pleasant feeling in one's own body and more sexual drive.

## 2\. Pelvic floor training

The pelvic floor is a largely ignored part of the body. Yet it has a promising function: A trained pelvic floor leads to longer and more intense orgasms. This not only increases the pleasure in the moment, but also makes you want to have more and more frequent sex. You can easily train the pelvic floor with simple exercises. The clue and first test of how trained the pelvic floor is is how well you can control your bladder. Do you manage to interrupt the flow of urine? Then you have activated your pelvic floor. As an exercise, you can tense it for 5 seconds, then release it briefly and tense it again. 20 repetitions are enough to start with.

## 3\. Yoga and Chakra Meditations

With yoga, the pleasure center can be felt, trained and improved quite actively. An important chakra of desire, an energy center of our body is located in the abdomen, at the level of the female sex organs. Targeted yoga exercises help to feel sexual desire, the ability to experience a great orgasm as well as increase fertility. If this chakra is activated through specific yoga exercises, blockages and disturbances can also be released. A simple exercise to activate the root chakra, the chakra of pleasure, is the shoulder bridge. To do this, lie on your back, shift your weight to your shoulders and stretch your buttocks upwards with your heels. Hold for a few seconds and lower again.

## 4\. Increase self-confidence

In order to experience good sex and to be able to carry your desire to the outside world, it is important to accept yourself as you are. Even more, you are allowed to find yourself beautiful, strong, confident and sexually attractive. If you love yourself and your body, you will have better sex. Therefore, measures to strengthen self-confidence are highly recommended.

**Citation**
- Nold: Übungen für besseren Sex. In: Better than ever. (Abgerufen am 18.05.22). [https://better-than-ever.com/tipps/uebungen-fuer-besseren-sex/](https://better-than-ever.com/tipps/uebungen-fuer-besseren-sex/).

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